Baby Wearing, Parte Dos - The Moby

The first carrier I ever used with Ira was the Moby. When I came home from the hospital, I knew I wanted to wear him, but I didn't yet have the baby wearing addiction that I do now.

Ira was 6 days old the first time I wore him, and it worked like a charm.  He slept the whole time, and he was nice and warm all zipped into my jacket.  

The Moby wrap is basically a really long piece of fabric that gets skinnier toward the ends that you wrap around yourself and then put your baby into.  You can carry them like I have Ira in the above photo, you can carry them facing you with legs out (with fabric between you or not), and you can do a hip carry when they're older.  Moby actually has really easy instructions here.  

The biggest complaint that I have heard from people about the Moby wrap is that they can't figure it out, or that it's hard to use because it's one long piece of fabric.  I can totally relate, especially if you're new to baby wearing.

Here's what I recommend: wait until your baby is full and happy, maybe even asleep if he's still teeny tiny and can be moved around without waking up.  If your baby starts screaming because he's otherwise mad about something, you're going to curse my name and all things baby wearing.  

Start when you're at home, either by yourself, or with just one other person to hold the baby or help you wrap.  Don't wait to bust it out in front of the in-laws, your cousins, or all of your friends from work who just came over to hang out.  You'll be stressed, you'll try to learn it too fast, and you will (again) curse my name for recommending this blankety-blank wrap.  

Also, when you're ready to put the baby in, stand in front of your bed so you won't be stressed about dropping the baby.  Of course you aren't going to drop the baby, but it's a lot easier to be relaxed if your baby is over a high bed rather than over an asphalt parking lot, or your kitchen tiles.  

If you wrap it and it doesn't feel right to you, take the baby out and try again.  As long as your baby will work with you, keep trying it.  It might take one or two tries to figure out how you're both comfortable in it.  

To wear a newborn in your Moby, you wrap it onto yourself and then put your baby's legs in the "froggy position" (like they want to be anyway) and pull all the fabric around them.  If your baby is older, you're basically doing the same thing, except you're letting their legs hang out.

If you have a brand new baby, this carrier is one of my favorites, because it keeps your baby warm no matter how chilly it is outside. Even if the weather is warm, if your baby is anything like mine, he likes to be a little hotbox.  

I also like it because it's a one-size carrier - no need to buy a bigger one if dad wants to use it.

It's a very secure carrier, and one of my first choices if I'll be doing chores, cooking, or wearing for a long time.  I feel like Ira is really comfy in it, and the fabric is soft and doesn't seem to aggravate his skin, even when I'm wearing for a long time.  It's also nice because it's a one-size carrier....I can wear it, PB can wear it, and Mimi can wear it.

The only drawbacks are that the tails are really long, so I don't like to use it if we're out and about too often.  Nobody wants their tails dragging in the Walmart parking lot. Barf. Also, now that I have a 15 pound chunky monkey, I have to tie it pretty tight or it feels like he's sliding down in it/stretching it out a lot.  Technically you can use it until baby is 35 pounds, but I can't imagine how much he'd stretch it at that point.

The Moby is still one of my favorite newborn options, and one of my favorite cold weather options!  Definitely deserves a place in your baby-wearing stash.

Baby Wearing, Parte Uno - Why Do It?

I promised a baby wearing post, because it's something I do every day, and something I dearly love!  The issue is, I have a baby wearing problem.  I don't have just one carrier.  I have a lot.  Like I think I have more carriers than pants that fit me at the moment.  Do they have baby wearers anonymous?

Hi, my name is Meredith, and I am addicted to baby carriers.  I have just about every kind you can imagine that holds your baby close.  No "crotch danglers" or those infernal metal framed thing that look like you're going on an adventure up Mt. Everest on a yak with your baby.  But I'll get back to that.

So, why wear your baby in the first place?  When I wear Ira in Wal-Mart, people look at me as if I might actually be growing a baby outside of my body.  Or like I may have been invaded by some alien life form.  What I see are people with their babies in their car seats.  I see poor mamas lugging those 30 pound car seats with their arms stuck out at a right angle from their body.  I don't know how y'all do that!  I've had to do that to get Ira from Point A to Point B in the car seat and it makes me feel like I need to go to the chiropractor immediately.  Not to mention, unless the car is moving, he is NOT going to be happy in that thing for more than about 3 minutes.

Or even worse, I see those car seats perched on top of Wal-Mart shopping carts while mama browses.  I think maybe people just don't realize how dangerous that is.  You can damage the clip on your car seat so that it doesn't work properly in your car and it will be ejected from its base if you get into an accident.  Scary.  Also, carts aren't designed to hold the top heavy weight of car seats.  The whole cart can tip over or your car seat can be knocked off the cart, injuring or killing your baby.  I know, people do it every day and it doesn't happen, but what if we could avoid it EVER happening?  And have happier babies?  And mamas with backs that don't hurt?

Also, there is nothing better for getting things done around the house than wearing your baby.  Ira loves to snuggle with me while we hang out diapers, pick up random baby items that are constantly strewn everywhere, or just walk the weenie dogs. A lot of times he'll look around and take everything in, but he'll usually fall asleep and take a nap for as long as I'll wear him.

And if you think having a baby means you're chained to the house, you haven't worn your baby! Ira has been out to restaurants, friends' houses, and shopping more times than I can count since he was teeny tiny. As long as I put him in a carrier, he's good to go.  Also, depending on the kind of carrier you're using, you can nurse in it!  That's a win for everybody.

Have I convinced you yet?  Wondering what kind of devices you need to be a ballin' baby-wearer?  Well, I mentioned I have a problem.  I have (and love) a Moby, a k'tan, several ring slings, a mei tai, and a water wrap carrier.  I use them all on different occasions depending on my mood, Ira's mood, and what we're going to be doing.

You could be happy with any or all of the above...I'll get to the pros and cons of each in a few more posts!  So with that long list of baby carriers, are there any I wouldn't recommend?  Yes indeed, there are a few.

The first offenders are the so-called "crotch danglers" I mentioned, the most popular being the Baby Bjorn and the Snuggli.  They're awfully popular, but they aren't really good for you or your baby.

(Thanks to crunchyway.blogspot.com for the photo - I love the comparison!  And hate the crotch dangler!)

I feel like this is a popular dad carry, so you can be like what's-his-face from The Hangover, but come on dads, y'all can do better!

I know, he looks awesome.  But maybe just try the glasses and beard with a comfy carrier.

Why am I not into crotch danglers?  Well, you can see the picture, right?  You want me to put all kind of pressure on your junk like that?  But seriously, it isn't good for your baby's hips and spine.  You want to wear your baby in way similar to how you would hold him and in a natural position for him.  You ever seen many babies stick their legs out like that?

The only other kind I'm not into are the big metal-frame carriers because I really and truly can't think of a situation where that would be practical.  Even if I were a big hiker/camper (which I'm clearly not), I can't imagine wearing Ira in such a big, heavy apparatus. 

For the love of Pete, why do you need that much structure to carry your kid?  I really think I could just as easily put the car seat on my back with bungee straps.  I feel tired looking at this guy.  

But if you have the right carrier, it's magical.  Besides making your back hurt a lot less, it makes your baby cry a lot less.  Babies who are worn for 3 hours a day cry and fuss 43% less than those who aren't worn.  It also makes your baby smarter.  Because you're wearing your baby at adult conversation level, he hears more speech and is more involved in what you're doing.  (Fact check me here.) Still not convinced?  There's my personal favorite - less germy-pawed strangers reaching into your carrier to touch your baby.  Something about wearing a baby makes him more yours, less public property.  

Okay, I'll step off my soapbox now.  But I'm working on more posts about each carrier I have, how to use them, and what the benefits of each of them are!  I hope you'll think about wearing your baby if you have one (or are going to have one soon!)

Why boobs are awesome.

Since I wrote about cloth diapers, I feel like I would be remiss to leave out another of my hippie obsessions - breast feeding.  At least around here, I feel like it's something we don't talk about a lot.  Or if we do, we have to say it in a whisper, you know, in the same tone and volume you might say, "rectum," or "hemorrhoids."  I don't really know why that is, but it's sad.  I truly don't think I've ever seen anyone nursing in public except for one lady in Babies R Us, and is that really nursing in public?  I feel like that's more akin to bringing your dog to Petsmart - it's expected there.

When I was little, my mom was a lactation consultant, so I saw a lot of breast feeding.  Boobs to the left, boobs to the right, and you're the only kid in town....wait, those aren't the lyrics to that Jimmy Buffet song....but anywho.  Bottom line, I didn't know what else you did with a baby.  I was the only kid in my house, so I didn't have little brothers and sisters to watch, but I did see more breast feeding than the average kid.  I also had a tendency to walk around Walmart with my baby doll plastered to my bare chest because again, that's all I'd ever seen a baby do.  Babies also take bottles?  Wha?

I knew from the beginning that breast feeding was something I was going to do or die.  In fact, that's what inspired my hell-bent, worry-your-face-off obsession with trying to have a natural birth.  Besides feeling unholy amounts of pain and shaking and the psychological despair of being told you're only three centimeters, the other thing on my mind when I asked for the epidural was breast feeding.  When you start doing research about how to have a good breast feeding relationship, one of the first things you see is natural birth.  If you get an epidural, your baby will be sleepy from medication at best.  At worst, you'll have a c-section and then you'll never ever make milk and you'll start supplementing with formula and then the world will explode into 36 million tiny pieces.  Okay, maybe I made that last part up.  But that's what I felt would happen.

When they told me my baby was here, it was 2 in the morning and I was dog tired and just about delirious from being so exhausted, but I remember thinking I had to get that baby up on my chest.  And I did, and with a little help because a) I had no idea what I was doing and b) I was so tired I felt like I was made of cooked spaghetti noodles - we had our first little nursing session.

Honestly, I had it pretty easy during those first few days.  We had an appropriate number of wet and dirty diapers, I seemed to be making something, and Ira would nurse for about 10 or 15 minutes at a time, usually.  I was so grateful to have it easy those first few days, because I know that doesn't happen for a lot of people.  The word "formula" was never mentioned to me, but I know at some hospitals, your nurse is pushing you to give your baby formula so you can sleep, or at worst, telling you that you "have" to give your baby formula because you're basically starving him because he isn't getting enough to eat.  I can't imagine hearing that, and I'm so glad I didn't have to.

When we got home, things were still easy by pretty much anybody's standards.  Sure, I was a little sore, because nobody's used to having a little piranha attached to you for hours a day.  But for the most part, we were golden.  He was gaining weight, he seemed pretty happy, we were good to go.  But then when he was two weeks old, I went to bed feeling like I just couldn't get warm and feeling pretty achey.  I decided to take my temperature when I woke up feeling that way in the middle of the night.  Of course, I had a fever, and it turned out that I had endometritis.  

Y'all, that ain't no game show.  It hurts to lay the baby on your belly, your fever is so high it makes you feel like you have the diphtheria or something, and the last thing you want to do is sit up and nurse your baby.  Fast forward to 24 hours later, and I had a rock-hard, bright red and painful lump on my left side.  Helloooooo mastitis.  Insult, meet injury.  I don't know why though, it never occurred to me that I couldn't feed my baby.  Maybe it's some sort of evolutionary drive or something, but I felt like the world would end if somebody bought formula for him.  Honestly even giving him a pumped bottle at that age was out of the question because I was afraid pumping wouldn't be enough stimulation for my supply, or that he'd get the dreaded nipple confusion.  So we pushed on and we both survived that bump in the road.

And now, I can't imagine not nursing.  First, let me say that breast feeding is the lazy mama's dream.  Baby crying in the middle of the night?  Haul him into bed, lay down while feeding him, go back to sleep.  If I had to get up and heat up formula, I'd be totally awake and I'd never go back to sleep.  Then, you have to wash bottles.  You know what I hate?  Washing bottles.  What a pain in the butt.  If that has to be part of your daily life, I am sorry, friend, because that is terrible slave work.  And then, there's my favorite benefit.  Need to get away from somebody?  Pretend to be shy and go nurse.  Sometimes, you just need a break from 10,000 visitors or family dinner or whatever else.  "Sorry guys, baby's hungry."  Another benefit is that I can't forget my boobs.  I have forgotten everything else.  A pacifier, a blanket, another outfit, diapers, wipes, a sun hat, socks, you name it.  But at least I won't have a hungry baby who is loudly expressing his opinions!

For that last part to work, you sort of have to be ok with nursing out in the world.  Because again, that whole pumping and bottle washing?  That's for people who are much less lazy than me.  

The best way to do it?  Wear your baby.  My ring sling that Mom made works best.  Drop him down a little further, and bam, happy baby.

I'll have to talk about baby wearing more soon.  But that's my favorite part of baby wearing!

And also, just snuggling with a baby and having him look up at you and grin, or stroke you with his little fingers while he eats, or snuggle next to you at night is just amazing.  There's nothing I'd trade for that.  Sometimes when we nurse I just try to memorize every second because I know he won't be a baby long.

I just hate that so few people get to experience exclusively breast feeding their baby.  I hate that so many women are told that they don't make enough, that their body is broken, that they're starving their baby.  The solution is always to give your baby something else or something more, and that just perpetuates the issue - because if your baby is getting milk elsewhere, that's all the less milk you'll make for him.  I also hate that so many negative things are said about nursing. 

"He'll sleep more if you give him formula."  He'd sleep more if  I gave him Jack Daniels too, but you don't see me busting out the liquor. 

"You'll stop all that once he gets a few teeth!" Um, they basically stick their tongues out over their teeth (or where their teeth would be) to nurse.  They don't chew on you like corn on the cob.  Or if they do, you're doing something wrong.

"You should just give him bottles sometimes so you can sleep more/go out/do other things." But then I have to make bottles.  And then I have to pack bottles.  Wash bottles.  Go out and buy more things with which to feed my kid, none of which are as good what I already have.  That's also free.  Plus, who said I want to go out and do other things?  I like having my little monkey come along.  I think he's pretty cute.

"Nobody else ever gets to feed the baby!"  And nobody else got to carry the baby before he was born, nobody else got to birth the baby...it's sort of part of doing the whole "mom" thing.  You're not really designed to have somebody else feed the baby.

So if you're struggling with breast feeding, keep your chin up.  There are hard parts, but I promise it's so worth it.  I wouldn't trade it for anything, and it might just be my favorite part of baby wrangling.