dolla dolla bills, y'all

You know what I think is the most ridiculous thing ever? This horse crap in which we have decided that things must have odd prices. Why did my cup of coffee cost $2.67 at the gas station this morning? Well, plus tax, another odd amount of change. This gives me the choice of either digging around in my wallet for the 86 cents or whatever it is, or taking the change, throw it in my purse, and then have that crap jingling around my wallet.

One of these days, when I am in charge of the world (which will of course one day happen), we are going to have nice, round pretty numbers for everything, tax included. Maybe instead of a new tv costing $789.49, it could just cost $800. I could shell out eight hundred dollar bills (ha! to have eight hundred dollar bills!) and walk out of there with my shiny tv.

Is this too much to ask? Maybe I am the only person who is annoyed to no end by this because I have an almost psychotic aversion to math. Like seriously, I hate even trying to figure out how much I should tip at a restaurant. I want to whip out the iPhone and start multiplying and adding in the calculator, or at least write out the addition all over the receipt. But of course I can't do that, because for heaven's sake, I have a DEGREE, and I am in fancy lawyering school, should I not be able to do a simple math problem? Clearly I should not have passed second grade. So then I try to sweat out the numbers quickly, so as not to have table full of people staring at me whilst the panic voice in my head goes "OMG, WHAT IS $15.89 x 20% AND THEN WHAT IS THAT TOTAL, ARGHHH!!?"

Then I scratch out something on the receipt, say a little prayer that it's right, shove the ticket back in the folder and leave, thinking to myself for the next several minutes, "Did I do that right? Oh no, I didn't do that right and now the total is wrong and what will the poor server do because I have done the math wrong and screwed them out of half of the tip they deserved and how could I do that, THEY DID A GOOD JOB."

It's always better when someone else pays.