Tuesday, May 18, 2010

somebody fetch me a wine slushie

Can we talk about how pleased I am that exams are over? Okay, let's talk. I'M PLEASED. The feeling of "I may have failed almost all of them" has somewhat worn off, to be replaced by the "screw it, I'll just take it again if I actually failed" feeling, accompanied by the "what the heck, let's make wine slushies" feeling.

No, seriously, I am totally making wine slushies. At the first feasible opportunity. Maybe tomorrow night, since I have sentencing law class until 9pm or some other ungodly time. Though I actually like sentencing law class because dear sweet Jesus, it's just about filling out the forms right. And there might be case law about it, but the whole point is, none of that really matters. You just FILL OUT THE FORM.

And as I was previously a sentencing form monkey for the entirety of last summer, I can FILL OUT YO FORM. Seriously, I have few talents, but besides standing on my head, rolling my tongue in a vile yet fascinating manner, and drawing a real pretty palm tree when I'm bored, I can figure out your prior record level lickety split. It is refreshing to finally be the one person in a law school class who actually knows what's going on. Let me tell you, I usually don't know what's going on in law school classes unless it involves crap I want to buy on etsy, how to make a delicious appetizer (or wine slushie) or what Mariska Hargitay wore last time she was out and about (because I completely want to be her.)

Let's now turn our attention to something else (disjointed alert.) I really, really hate thunderstorm warnings. Not so much the thunderstorm warning itself, but the warnings that come on tv. Why must they always sound so ominous? Like for example, ruining my viewing of The Good Wife is a thunderstorm warning scrolling across the screen in all caps, telling me: A SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING IS IN EFFECT FOR THE FOLLOWING COUNTIES...UNTIL TUES 11:15 PM. EXTREME CAUTION SHOULD BE EXERCISED IN THE VICINITY OF THUNDERSTORMS. STAY INDOORS, AWAY FROM WINDOWS AND CONSIDER POSTPONING TRAVEL UNTIL THE THUNDERSTORM PASSES.

But you know what's even worse? When the awful emergency alert noise and the creepy computer voice come on. Boy, that is enough to get me taking shots in the kitchen. I just cannot help but picture my obviously imminent path to being interviewed by a tv news person following the horrible carnage of the storm. I will somehow find myself in a mangled front yard, bra-less in a wifebeater, having somehow lost the majority of my teeth, saying "It sounded just like a freight train a-comin'."

Also, the newscaster is wearing a blue suit. A light blue suit. Is it wrong if I say I want a light blue suit? Seriously, I do. Y'all tell me where I can find one that doesn't look like it came from the Alfred Dunner line.

And with that, it's reading one more case, then up at the ungodly hour of 6am for class. If you see me on the road tomorrow, I'll probably growl at you.


Michelle said...

HAHA okay so

1. So close to being done with exams. Then cue watching The Hills, drinking SoCo in ice, and sleeping at every goddamn hour of the day.

2. Those weather alerts make my blood freeze--a bad combination of my excessive fear of everything/anxiety and dislike of harsh sounds.

3. I look terrible in light blue.

Lia said...

you cant be mariska, i want to be mariska. also el colino cant roll his tongue. he's a freak. i can.