Thursday, December 23, 2010

Turkey Intimidation

I've pretty much been doing anything but blogging lately - I think I've been too busy with Christmas break. Wallowing in it, if you will. No more studying, no more papers, no more pretending like I've read for class - just sweet, sweet freedom.

And this week, it's been all about Christmas prep. I don't think I have ever had so much of the responsibility for Christmas, and it's strange, it makes me feel like too much of a grown-up. In fact, I started my very first turkey this morning. There is something crazy intimidating about a turkey, and I don't know why. I just bought a turkey breast, wrapped it in foil, and threw it in the crock pot. Have I mentioned I would die without my crock pot? You should have seen me up at 7am trying to get this bird in the pot though.

Peggy Sue the wonder dachshund was going crazy, I've got a huge turkey breast on the counter which is dripping its horrible turkey juice EVERYWHERE, like all over the counter and down the front of the dishwasher. Meantime, Peggy Sue is acting like this is the best thing that's ever happened to her, standing right under it and trying to lick all of it up while more drips on her head. So I have salmonella central all over the countertop, the dishwasher, the floor, and the dog. And that would be why, after I washed Peggy Sue and every flat surface in the kitchen, I retreated back to bed until ten.

And because this thing is wrapped in foil, I have no earthly idea if it's even cooking. I have this horrible feeling that when I take it out to take to the family get-together tonight, I'm STILL going to have salmonella central. Merry Christmas everyone, here's an intestinal issue, hope you enjoy!

In other news, I have lost my voice. I am certain this is because someone (most likely PB) asked Santa for my voice to be stricken for Christmas. That's why I've been sending out public facebook appeals to Santa that I am certainly less naughty than anyone who might have wished my voice away, and dammit I SHOULD WIN THIS ONE. So far, I still sound terrible. This does not bode well for tonight, because it's Christmas with my mom's side of the family. There are two things we do at that get-together. We eat, and we talk. Everyone talks A LOT. There's a reason I do too, I can't help it, I swear it's genetic. So I'm drinking lots of hot coffee and hoping that somehow has a therapeutic quality.

Sigh. I still have to crank out a green bean casserole, a pumpkin pie cheesecake, a pumpkin gooey cake, and a hashbrown casserole for the various family get-togethers we do between now and Christmas, and hopefully work in some time for some Christmas drinking. I am foreseeing making some Sangria and watching A Christmas Story at least 6 out of the 24 times they play it on TNT this year.

Cross your fingers for no turkey poisoning for anyone, and a voice for me, so that I will not be coming to the battle of the talkers unarmed tonight.

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