Tuesday, June 4, 2013

On Being a (for-the-moment) Stay at Home Mama

I'm afraid I have given y'all the wrong idea.  I read somewhere once that we compare our "everyday" to everybody else's "highlight reel" on the internet.  Those folks (whoever they are) are probably right.

For right now, I'm staying at home with this sweet little love who is happily working on his pacifier and batting at his toys on the playmat.  That kid loves his pacifier and his jingly toys, I tell you what.

I think there are moms who stay at home who have it all together.  I think there are people who manage to make pinterest recipes, clean and declutter the house, label everything in their cabinets, shop, and wear jewelry that matches their outfits even when they don't have anywhere to go.

Me?  I'm sitting here in a Myrtle Manor Trailer Park t-shirt, greasy hair on top of my head, glasses on my face, PB's raccoon boxer shorts on my butt, and it's 11:30am.  Things I have accomplished this morning: pumping some extra milk so my mom can keep Ira later this afternoon while I go to an appointment, starting a load of very dirty diapers in the washing machine, and feeding the little guy.  That's it.

There's stuff from our lake trip this past weekend all over my house, unmade beds, dirty clothes, a floor that needs vacuuming and mopping, bathrooms that need cleaning, a refrigerator that needs to be cleaned out, and breakfast dishes in the sink.  Oh wait, but those must be from before the lake trip because having breakfast is not on the list of things I have accomplished.  Did I mention it's 11:35?

I read blogs from mamas who stay at home who seem to achieve a lot more.  They seem happy too.  But you know what?  I'm ok with the fact that the house needs cleaning.  I'm ok with the fact that there are chores to do.  Maybe when Ira tires of his playmat, I'll put him in a carrier and we'll cruise around doing some half hearted housework.  But I'm sitting here talking to a little person who has a lot to say (even if I don't understand it) and watching his little legs kick at his toys and his little eyes light up at that playmat.

I have always known that if I was going to have kids, I was going to have to have a work schedule that allowed me to be with them.  I don't mean being a full time stay at home mama, because that's clearly not my strong suit like it is for some.  I think I need to work at least a little so that my contribution can be something different - extra money for Christmas, the Disney World trip I'm already dreaming about when he's 4 or so, and the ability to send him to swim lessons or baseball trips or whatever he wants to do.

My goal for this summer of staying at home?  Spending as much time as possible talking to my little buddy, showing him the world, making him giggle, taking him to fun places like the lake or the beach or just outside for a walk, and soaking it all up.  I don't care if there are dirty underpants hanging from the ceiling - I'll always have the memories from Ira's first summer.

No comments: