Saturday, November 21, 2009

In Which We Decide It Would Be a Good Idea to Put a Car on the Porch

As you can tell, for reasons unknown to me, holidays are a big deal around here. Normally, we have a big Santa that we put on my parents' porch, along with one of their Harleys, and attach him to the ceiling with fishing line, such that it looks as if he's riding the hog. We know how to keep it classy.

But this year, we just had to outdo ourselves, so my mom ordered a big fancy new Santa (he is quite fantastic, I must say), and we decided to put him on the porch in the Amphicar. Don't ask me why we have a 1967 amphibious vehicle - just suffice it to say that we are that crazy.

You should probably watch this video just to see how ridiculous we are, and what a poor idea it is to get about 25 rednecks to attempt to put a car on your front porch. It's classic. (Also I like how I got out of working by just propping myself against the house and telling people "I'm recording this!")

Well, the end point you see in the video is as far as we ever got Santa and his darn amphibious sleigh. It just wouldn't make the turn onto the porch. But after all that (and believe me, I have like 30 more minutes of fail video, we tried seriously hard), we just decided we couldn't take it down. And actually, I think I like the end result better than having him all fixed and pretty on the side of the porch like we were shooting for.

So the reason for all the preparing and Christmas decorating and failing at getting Santa on the porch was all in the name of the Christmas parade, which is always the Saturday before Thanksgiving. I think this is silly and way too early, but 'twas ever thus and 'twill ever be so, I am certain.

Somehow I convinced PB to run the pre-parade 5k with me (his first!) and it went pretty well. By no means am I that fast, but I like running in my little slowpoke fashion and it's fun to get out and see everyone lined up and ready to watch the parade.

Please ignore the fact that I appear as if I am death's doorstep. Yes, apparently three miles is just THAT HARD, and makes me look as if I need a transfusion.

The parade was full of amazing entries such as:

If you've never had a Sun Drop (or my favorite, Diet Sun Drop, DSD for short), I am so sorry. You need to order a case, asap. It's sort of like a cross between Mountain Dew and Sprite and it is the perfect soft drink.

You have a baby...on top of a firetruck? Safety first, guys. Safety first.

What I couldn't capture was the guy in the white cowboy hat twanging out some Christmas songs and saying in a voice that sounded just like one of the Clampetts, "Y'all come on and see us now, y'hear?"

Nor the other church members riding horses and/or giant horned bulls (who are apparently somehow sedated). It was crazetastic.

Now it's on to The Great Deviled Egg Cook-Off (who has interesting/magically delicious deviled egg recipes which I could use to win this thing?) Then there will be delivering Thanksgiving dinner for Meals on Wheels, and family Thanksgiving. Lots to look forward to (including fantastical pictures, I am sure.)


rachaelgking said...

"Don't ask me why we have a 1967 amphibious vehicle - just suffice it to say that we are that crazy."

Um, and also to say that YOU ARE MY HERO.

Meredith said...

Hahaha, thank you! I wish I had our maiden water voyage in that thing captured on video...the water comes up to the door handles, which resulted in me saying "OH SHIT WE'RE GONNA DIE" about 152 times. Especially since my dad's contribution was tying an orange life jacket and 200 feet of rope to the back of it "so we'll know where it is if it sinks."