Thursday, August 2, 2012

In which I discuss baby names...

...and hope not to offend anyone.  Seriously, if I knock the name of your niece/cousin/best friend, I'm really sorry.  I might actually like the name on them, but I am REAL funny about baby names for my own particular chicos/chicas.  In ways that may not make sense to you.  See below.

So, as mentioned, I have a set of criteria regarding baby names, if you will.  

1.  We gotta call the baby what we name the baby.  No naming the baby Hortense Kelly and then saying, "But we're going to call her Kelly!" Also no naming the baby Katherine and dooming her to a life of "But I go by Katie."  The kid's name has to be the kid's name, end of story.

2.  On the note of Katie - I know a lot of them, and that name brings up an interesting point.  I never know how to spell your gosh darn name.  Or what it's short for.  Is it Katie? Katy? Caity? Caitie? Is that short for Catherine?  Katerina?  Katherine? Caitlin? Kathleen?  I can't.  No names with ambiguous spellings.

3.  Also, no names with spellings you make ambiguous yourself.  I don't need you to throw a "y" in there, an "ae" where it should just be an "a," and so forth and so on.  First of all, for girls, I think it makes your name way too frilly and precious and I need it work for you if you decide to be a brain surgeon.  For example, why does it need to be Alysyn instead of just Allison?  How many times will that poor girl have to spell her name?  

4.  Nothing, and I repeat, nothing in the Top 100.  Make that top 500, really.  Or anything rapidly on the rise.  I really do like a lot of the names in the top 100, especially for girls (I'm thinking of Emma, Aubrey, Lillian, Vivian)...but I can't do that to a kid.  I don't need her to be one of five girls named Ava in her class.

5.  Nothing for a boy that ends in "n."  Is it me or is every other little boy you meet these days named Aidan, Brayden, Hayden, Jayden, Austin, Colton, Grayson, Landon, Lawson, Logan, Rylan, Tristan, or Weston?  Maybe just here?  Because I feel like soon, we'll be able to write one long rhyming poem with all the boys' names of kids under the age of 5.  

So what do I like?  Well, with all these darn rules, I'll admit it's tough to come up with something!  I really like old names though.  But I get a LOT of snuffling laughs when I tell people our names.  

If it's a boy (which I'm convinced it is)'s going to be:

And if it's a girl, it's going to be:

I know.  Not the usual.  Ira was PB's great-grandfather's name, and I just really like it.  And Frances was my great-grandmother's name.  Both of them are safely outside the top 500 (not that you're surprised about that).  So there you go  - I know most other people wouldn't pick them but that's sort of what I like about them.  

Now I have to wait until September to find out which one it's going to be....I may lose my mind before then.

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