Exhibit one: I do not sleep like a normal individual, apparently. I sleepwalk. Has anybody done that since age 5? Probably not. I never remember what I do when I sleepwalk, and I guess I never know unless I happen to do it in front of someone, or I wake up in a weird place.
When I lived at home, I'd wake up in the formal living room we never use, on the cold leather couch. Or in the front hallway on a teeny hard bench. Now that I have my own place, places I've woken up include the guest bedroom (my favorite haunt, it would seem), the couch (also a fairly normal place I suppose), curled up against the side door/bookcase where they meet, and most recently, in my closet with the fluorescent light on.
I woke up last night at 1:30 or so, lying on the floor of the closet, my head on top of my slouchy boots, with the lights glaring due to the automatic switch PB put on the closet light so that it turns on when you open the door. Also, mysteriously, with a scraped and bruised elbow. I keep awkwardly wincing in pain whenever I use my right arm a certain way because apparently, I did an excellent job banging it up on something. I have no idea what.
Last Christmas, when PB was staying with me one night, he said he saw me get up, turn on the Christmas tree, and stand in front of it. Like with my face really close to it, apparently. He tried to talk to me, I think he said, but I just looked at him and then back at the tree. He got me to shuffle back to bed, and I never said a word. Also I remember none of that, but at least it didn't end up with me + a scraped/bruised elbow.
It surprises me that I don't think I've ever left the house when I do it, or at least I don't think I've ever done anything like that. Unless I somehow manage to disarm and re-arm my alarm system, which I doubt I'm sophisticated enough to do. Pretty sure my ramblings stick to moving to weird places, taking things out of cabinets (since sometimes I wake up with random things on the floor or the countertops that weren't there before), and generally being a big weirdster.
So that's your daily dose of crazy, the part where you either hit the "unfollow" button, or you do what I recommend and keep me along for the ride as someone you can read about and think to yourself, "Jeez, I'm normal. And also super cool."
2 comments:
gah you are a nutterbutter. am glad we were never roommates, i probably would have kilt you for fear you were an intruder.
really... the closet? i mean it IS largeular... but so it your bed, cray.
If it makes you feel better I used to sleep walk until I was 9 or 10. I remember waking up in front of the MIRROR which was really terrifying or standing in the kitchen randomly. Not fun at all! Fortunately it subsided sometime after I turned 10 but I understand how frustrating/scary it can be. Now I just sleep talk and steal covers :)
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